What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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