My first STD was from a foam party
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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