They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
