Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
