Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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