I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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