ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
