You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
