so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
