You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
