What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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