I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I will pee on everything he values.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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