Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
