I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
