I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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