I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
