I wish I only lived at night.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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