I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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