Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
