I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
