I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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