I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
