Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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