just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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