i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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