Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
