I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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