omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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