that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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