um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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