You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
