Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
being pregnant is like rehab
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
