so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
