I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
