if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
