I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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