I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
