Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
