If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
its liver damage thursday
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
