Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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