My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
