Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
