billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
