R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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