Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
