Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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