so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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