We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
