How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you traded sex for a burrito?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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