You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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