Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
