I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
