he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
