would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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