I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
