I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
